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7th August 2006 - Dave's Hottie of the Week: Dave asked Jo if he could choose the next Hottie of the Week, and suggested Charisma Carpenter. You know, "Cordelia" from Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jo agreed, and said Dave has better taste in girls than I do. Now what kinda thing is that to say to your own boyfriend? Anyway, Charisma was a San Diego Chargers cheerleader before becoming Cordy in Buffy. Cordelia was a pretty annoying character in Buffy, but in Angel she really grows on you. She was a Valley girl that became a secretary; a secretary that became a demon-slayer; and then a demon-slayer that became some kinda god-thing (I stopped watching Angel by then so I don't really know). And all the while, she was hot. Well, she was a little less hot when she cut her hair short, but anyway, it's a good thing she didn't put on weight the same way David Boreanaz did. So anyway, here is Dave's Hottie of the Week:
CHARISMA CARPENTER: 16th July 2006 - KKK Hotties of the Week: Jo's kinda busy these days, studying her ass off for her upcoming exams, so she doesn't have the time to think up of any Hotties. So we thought about the last few movies that we've been to, and decided to pick some hotties from them. We saw Thank You for Smoking, Superman Returns and Pirates 2 recently, so that's Katie Holmes, Kate Bosworth and Keira Knightley, respectively. She couldn't really choose between those three, so we decided to put all of them up as the KKK Hotties of the Week (as in all their names start with K). It's been four months since our last Hottie of the Week anyway, so we've gotta make up for lost time. I don't really rate Kate Bosworth myself, but Katie Holmes has always been kinda cute. Keira Knightley, well... I guess she's kinda pretty, but she's really not my type. Of course, Jo will just say that my taste is atrocious, but oh well. So anyway, here are your KKK Hotties of the Week:
KATIE HOLMES:
KATE BOSWORTH:
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: 7th March 2006 - Paint Scraping Hottie of the Week: Every Sunday night, Jo gathers herself in front of her TV and goes into a vegetative state for about 3 hrs from 9pm to midnight. Why? Because Sunday night is CSI Supreme Night, with all 3 versions of CSI lined up in a row... and Jo is utterly helpless against it. I'm not the biggest CSI fan in the world. I like the show and I think they're really well-made and well-written (except maybe the dialogue in the Miami variant) but I don't have the entire series on DVD like Aaron does or watch it religiously the way Jo does. Anyway, amidst all the DNA tests and paint scraping analysing... okay I have to ramble on a tangent now... Is it just me or is almost every case broken by some paint scraping? It's like, if you leave just the smallest speck of paint behind in the crime scene, you are going to get your ass busted to jail. You could leave your bloody fingerprints all over a smoking shotgun with the price-tag and credit card receipt still on it, along with a photo of yourself shooting the victim, and you might still be able to get away with it. But the moment you leave a speck of paint for them to scrape, you're going to jail. Back to the point at hand: there's a character in the New York variant of the show that Jo thinks is totally hot. No, it's not Gary Sinise... It's Vanessa Ferlito, who plays Aiden Burns, the girl that looks sorta like Michelle Rodriguez. And anybody that looks even remotely like Michelle Rodriguez must be really hot! Apparently you can also catch Vanessa Ferlito as a cheerleader in Man of the House, that shitty movie with Tommy Lee Jones, and she popped up a few times in one of the many seasons of 24. So anyway, here's your Paint Scraping Hottie of the Week:
VANESSA FERLITO: 26th February 2006 - Foppish English Haired Hottie of the Week: Over Valentine's Day, Jo and I managed to catch the end of Love Actually on cable. And once again she went totally ga-ga over her favorite Englishman in the world. If you go through some of Jo's favorite romantic comedies of all time, there's pretty much one common link through most of them. Notting Hill, Four Weddings & a Funeral, Bridget Jones' Diary, and of course Love Actually... they're all exactly 97 mins long (if you include the end credits). Okay that's not true (in fact Love Actually is a whopping 135 mins long), and the common link is that they all include Hugh Grant. Of course, you already know who he is because as English people come and go, he's more famous than Shakespeare and the Beatles put together these days. And I think for good reason. Hugh Grant comes across as the quintessential English nice-guy. He's got the accent, he drinks tea, he's polite, charming and is generally quite non-confrontational. The only non-traditionally English aspect of Hugh Grant is his perfect teeth. I mean, when I read a book and there's an Englishman in it, my mental images of the characters are all derivations of Hugh Grant. If it wasn't for the movie, I think reading Harry Potter would've made me imagine an army of little teenage Hugh Grants, one of which has a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Girls dig Hugh Grant in a major way. When I mean major way, I mean totally major way... like more than they dig The Affleck. Not quite sure why... maybe it's the foppish hair. So anyway, here's your Foppish English Haired Hottie of the Week:
HUGH GRANT: 8th February 2006 - Homoerotic Twin Hotties of the Week: Last night I was at Jo's place, and I was bugging her to choose a new hottie for the week. And she suddenly decided that she wanted this set of twins to be the week's hotties. Not one, but two! So here they are:
PETE & DAVE Okay, so they weren't the ones that Jo picked, but I thought this was a pretty classy shot of the twins so I had to put up the pic. The real hotties of the week are Abercrombie and Fitch models. What the hell is an Abercrombie and Fitch? I honestly don't know. But Jo went nuts over these two. Like, ballistic nuts. She's going through all these pictures of the twins, in various stages of undress in very homosexual poses... while I'm standing around feeling horribly inadeqeute because my abs aren't exactly sculpted like that. But does that bother her? Not at all. She just kept perusing those pictures of half-naked male models while wetting her pants and computer chair. But it's okay... I don't get jealous... much... So anyway, here's your Homoerotic Twin Hotties of the Week:
THE CARLSON TWINS: 26th January 2006 - Punny Name Hottie of the Week: Friday night at Jo's place, after watching Dude, Where's My Car? on cable: Jo:"Drew? I want this week's hottie to be Kelly Hu." Okay, for maximum effect you have to reread those last two lines at least fifty times, or until you totally run out of breath. Or you get so bored that you decide to close this browser window and go back to playing Sudoku online. Then proceed: Jo: "Kelly Hu, you dumbass! I want her to be the fucking hottie of the week!" And that's the reason why Kelly Hu is this week's hottie. And it's also the reason why I've been spending my lonely nights playing Sudoku. Anyway, for those of you hu know, Kelly Hu is erm... well she was the reason why people freeze-frame The Scorpion King at timecode 0:26:14 when she pops out of the water naked (don't try... I made that timecode up), and she played Lady Death-Manicure in the second X-Men movie. Oh, and she bitch-fights Gabrielle Union in Cradle 2 the Grave. Sound familiar? Yeah. According to IMDb.com, she was also the first Asian-American cover-girl to be featured on Maxim, and it was the highest selling issue when it was released. Here's your Punny Name Hottie of the Week:
KELLY HU :
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