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Archive (January-February 2005)
Hey everyone! We've been adding a whole new bunch of videos to the video vault and added some documentation for some older videos in the Miscellaneous section, so if you haven't already you should go and check them out. We'll be adding more soon enough, but Premiere Pro is a bit iffy so that takes some time. Hopefully before the end of the month we'll also put up The 4th Place and a sample of "Amy", and with any luck a brand new remixed edit of Footskating! --- You regular readers (all 3 of you) might have noticed how the updating's been a bit slack lately, well that's because we've been busy working on a new project. It's going to be our first ever feature length film! You should check it out on the Production Diary page... we're all really excited about it... like totally stoked!
I don't have the whitest teeth in the world. In fact, it's nowhere near the whitest teeth in the world. While I don't have Tom Cruise's million dollar smile with the perfect and pearly white teeth, I don't exactly have the Jude Law "too much coffee & cigarettes" british teeth either. I'm somewhere in between, but nevertheless that has not stopped me from yearning for a perfect pearly white smile and being incredibly self-conscious about my imperfect teeth. Because of this, I had recently purchased one of those more expensive than normal special tooth-whitening toothpaste products, and had been diligently brushing my teeth with it. Not am I brushing both morning and night, but I'm also spending extra time massaging that shit into my teeth with my toothbrush. But does it work? After more than a month, I'd have to say NO. Not at all. In fact, if anything that shit has made me feel worse about myself. I think my teeth might have actually gotten yellower. But that's probably just my imagination. And besides, the act of brushing my teeth with this stuff has made me more self-conscious than ever. Why? When is off-white more obviously off-white? When it's contrasted against pure white. And what's pure white? Why... that toothpaste foam of course!!! So as I'm brushing my teeth, the pure whiteness of the toothpaste is like a constant reminder of what my teeth are not and will never be... And that makes me soooo sad.
Digital Color Correction:
I used to read silly angst-ridden blogs to remind myself that it's okay to lose to some smart-assed geek in an online game because that was all that kid had going for him. It makes it easier to accept the fact that you've just lost 30 games of Command & Conquer in a row to some punk kid who uses the terms "733t" and "owned" a lot, if you keep in mind that the very next day that kid's going to have his underwear stretched over his head by the school's very aggressive middle linebacker. Anyway, aside from blogs I noticed that these kids like to post harsh and often ignorant comments on internet forums too... especially movie and skater forums. But the best thread I've read for a while comes from a forum discussing the meaning of the Linkin Park song Somewhere I Belong. Most of these posts aren't even about the song! One such post describes this: "Anyway! I just scrolled through almost forty messages without much in the way of interpretations! Mostly a lot of bitching! I didn't know Linkin' Park has such a love-hate relationship with the people." Anyway, in case you aren't going to follow the link, here are some highlights: "This song is about someone who is searching for somewhere he or she belongs. Simple as that, look at the title. Of course the reason they are looking is all their own fault and all they want is somwehere to belong." "To me this song is about a homeless person who just wants to go home to family but can't find them." "way 2 suck at life disturbed child! eat a bowl of fuck." "I bet you are some fatass 15 year old girl who goes to school dressed in all black because you like to think you are different even though you conform to your group of freaks." "Jesus what is wrong with you people, Knot owns, LP sucks ass, anything else? no! theyre just spewing the same old relationship breakup bullshit everyones whining about. slipknot writes about real shit. like RATM does, oughtta check em both out."
The other day I was in a public bathroom, just using the urinals like any normal decent human being. You know, minding my own business as I piss, aiming properly at the rather large target and not doing anything that would disturb the urinating experience for those around me. Not that there was anyone else around me at the time. I was more or less alone except for this one guy: Weirdo. I don't know his name, so let's just call him Weirdo. I noticed Weirdo because he was whistling rather loudly, as if to attract attention to himself. After hearing the whistling, I wondered if perhaps it was someone trying to help coax their child to piss, but unfortunately that was not the case. So I glanced over to see Weirdo, just idly walking along from urinal to urinal. Which wouldn't be abnormal if it wasn't for the fact that he had his penis out. And I wish I hadn't noticed, but unfortunately it was quite noticable due to it's rather large size. Weirdo was walking along from urinal to urinal, whistling out loud while stroking himself. He even looked at me with a "hey look at me!" expression on his face. I think he was getting off on my discomfort. If there was an Olympic event for fastest piss, I'd have won it there. I rushed out (after quickly washing my hands of course) and immediately told Jo about the horror I'd just witnessed. And when he came out, he was carrying an umbrella in one hand, and he had the other stuffed into his pants pocket. Psycho Pervert was probably still playing pocket pinball while he walked off whistling to himself. If you have to whack off urgently, and you have to do it in the toilet... do it in a cubicle! George Michael had the decency to do so, and so can you!
A long long time ago, before the time of Eminem (but after the time of the Beastie Boys), there existed an age of chaos known as the 90's. Rap was becoming more popular, and the white folk started entering the fray trying to get all G-ed up and shit. To me, the white rapper legacy will always begin with Vanilla Ice.
Vanilla Ice went undistured in his unique spot of successful white rapper for a while, and even made an appearance in the second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Gawd that was a really bad movie. It was horrendous! The first one was bad enough, but this one really kicked up the juvenile gear. Vanilla looked set to be the ultimate 90's rap guy. A couple of others appeared, but hey they sucked. Remember that Informer song by Snow? What the hell was that? Was that even in English? But then came another heavy-weight contender in the form of:
Marky Mark had one up on Vanilla Ice in that he had with him the Funky Bunch, a collected assortment of lesser rappers who had the skin color to go along with the clothes and attitude. Whereas Vanilla Ice kicked it solo, Marky Mark had a veritable posse whose very presence lent a great deal to Marky Mark's credibility and sound. Who's got more street cred? Vote in the poll! Me? I've got my vote set on Marky Mark. --- As a footnote, Vanilla Ice has now decided to revamp his image and make a comeback. Here's an excerpt from his website: "It's a true story that Video Killed the Radio Star because music should not be about image. Music should be about the music! ... The new Vanilla Ice is exactly that;... no polished made up gimmicks created by record companies. I will never be a puppet for the industry again. From this point on I will keep it real. Now I have a new outlook on life and music. The music is for myself, not to be rich or famous. The new sound is also much harder and darker because of the issues I am writing about... It leans toward the body piercing, tattoo crowd aging from 15 to 25: the same crowd that you might find at a Korn, Limp Bizkit or Slipknot show... I call this type of Hip Hop/Metal Molten Hip Hop. Stay tuned because the best has yet to come. Check out VanillaIce.com, my official website, for more info and updates." I wish Vanilla Ice the best of luck on his new extreme makeover, but it doesn't matter what you do now, it doesn't matter what you say: somewhere in my heart you're always singing Ice Ice Baby.
My visage has been put in the top 7 finalists of the Star Wars Galaxies Wallpaper contest! Krast, I'm going to be famous! Hahahaha!
After reading Chris' little rant about the obscene amount of soccer-related programs on ESPN, I feel I have to add something else to it. Okay, granted they've got an abundance of soccer programs, and they're willing to saturate the channel with it leaving only a small percentage of airtime for other sports... but during the already miniscule broadcasts of other sports, must they really also put on a whole crapload of ads for those programs? I got up at 5:30am the other morning to watch the Patriots host the Colts... and even at that ungodly hour they had to saturate the commercial breaks with ads for Football Crazy and Football Extra. If that wasn't bad enough, these fucking ads actually ATE into the coverage of the game! If I'm going to get up at 5:30 in the morning to watch Brady and Peyton make big plays in their bid to advance to the Superbowl, I wanna watch them make those plays! I wanna see them break out of the huddle and line up for the next play... what I don't want to see is an ad with some fat geek asking me to watch Football Crazy, and cutting back to the game in time to see Brady and his offence forming a huddle AFTER converting an important 3rd down! For you non-football watching folk... it's like the equivalent of tuning into a soccer match just in time to see some eurotrash motherfucker running around with his shirt over his head doing somersaults and waving his arms around celebrating the goal that you just missed. --- Sigh... and the Vikings fell to the Eagles 27-14. Guess I can't be too disappointed... at least they made the Playoffs this year. I wish ESPN would've put THAT game on instead. They would've been able to spare the time if they'd just decided against airing the Football Crazy ad 50 million times. --- Due to popular demand, we'll try to put up more Deadpan videos in the Video Vault soon. Which ones would you like to see? At the moment we're thinking of putting up some Footskating vids and The Fourth Place.
Usually when I go CD shopping, if I buy a CD then I'll avoid looking at it subsequently at other stores for the fear that they'd be cheaper. Did that make sense? Anyway, it's like the new Ludacris album retails for about $30 in HMV, but I buy it at another CD store for $20. I'm happy knowing that I saved $10... but I'd be shit-scared that if I walked into another place I'd find it on the shelf for $15. If that did happen, then did I save $10, or did I lose $5? Is that kinda like in the stock market... when you realize that if you'd held onto a stock for just a couple of days more you could've sold it for a few dollars more? Fuck that'd piss me off...
Honestly, nothing ever works around here! The CD player doesn't play CD's half the time... my monitor is glitchy and I have an uncanny feeling that it's going to fail me again someday... the mod-chip in my X-Box blinks out sometimes... and now Drew's right eye has Recurrent Corneal Erosion. If it sounds bad, that's because it's pretty gross. Basically, a patch of skin on his eye is damaged, and won't heal back properly because of his gimpy dry eyes. Everytime some skin heals back, it doesn't adhere to the eye, and gets ripped off his cornea by his eyelids and he gets an ugly red eye all over again. Well at least he still has his eye...Chris had his completely torn out by Shiven a few years ago. Now that hurt!
Occasionally we flip onto ESPN, and every time we do it seems like there's a barrage of programs devoted entirely to soccer! I mean, aside from the regular broadcasts of actual games, there are all these other supplementary programs with fat assholes mouthing off about a game that already gets more than enough airtime on local TV. Now honestly, who the fuck needs to watch that many soccer programs? Check it out:
All in all, I think there are way too many of these programs and some of them, especially Football Crazy, really gives soccer a bad name. I mean, I'm not the best person to say this as I'm not exactly a soccer fan or anything... but from the previews and ads of the show (of which there are MANY) it honestly looks about as exciting as 20 minutes of staring at a teapot.
As much as I can write some bullshit about a happy new year and bullshit resolutions that I never intended to fulfil in the first place, I won't... instead, let's all bitch about friends that go bad. When is a friend not a friend? Or more appropriately, when is a friend no longer a friend? Lately all Munky ever does is play The Sims 2, and in that game your friends will slowly fade away into acquaintances over time if you don't keep in regular contact and hang out together. In real life, that's more or less the same, I guess. However, I have some friends who I rarely see, and might not even speak to or email for a couple of years... yet when if we ever just call or email one another, we'll try to meet up and catch up on gossip. A lack of contact might not be a sign of good friends, but it's certainly doesn't mean bad friends... and it definitely doesn't mean they're no longer your friends. So when does a friend cease being your friend? I think a pretty good sign is when they turn around and fuck you over, plain and simple. Friends gossip and bitch about each other behind their backs... that's a given. I might not like the way a certain friend keeps chasing after a person that's obviously using her for sex, and I'll bitch about her inability to see the obvious and realize that she's chasing Marc. But I'm still not bitching about her character or putting her down in front of friends... I'm saying she's foolish, not evil. But when the bitching begins to undermine your friend's character, and becomes something akin to poisoning another person's mind to build distrust and destroy your friend's credibility... that's pretty much fucking someone over. And fuck it hurts when someone fucks you over. Anyone who would speak up against you behind your back, tell lies or unconfirmed rumors about you to your other friends in an effort to weaken your relationships with your other friends... that kinda person is not your friend at all. They made it clear the moment they bad-mouthed you. And if they turn around, smile at you and shake your hand afterwards because they did all that with the best of intentions... what the fuck kinda warped and twisted individual is that? Are they bad friends, or are they your enemy? Bruce Willis' character in The Last Boy Scout had a really laid back concept of friendship. When asked why he still considered a guy his best friend after he (the "best friend") fucked his wife and tried to get Brucey killed, he replied: "Yeah well, friends can't be perfect." Personally, I think you should call them a "clueless self-righteous bitch" to their face, and kick them in the gut if you ever see them drunk and horizontal on the sidewalk. Trust takes long enough to build without someone fucking it up for you.
In 2005, I wanna learn to drive. I think I really should've learnt by now but I haven't, so fuck you!
I was watching the big screen version of The Phantom of the Opera the other day, and something struck me... the girl that played Christine had the same silly expression on her face throughout the entire movie. An expression that says "Oh look, I'm in despair." She wore it like the Phantom wore his mask... But what bugged me the most was that the expression was almost exactly like the look of despair that Frodo has throughout all the last 2 Lord of the Rings movies. I half-expected to sing "Gollum, let go of the Ring!" somewhere during her many many songs.
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