|
|
|
|
 |
Archive (July 2003) 28th July, 2003 Don't you just love it when you look at your Recent Visitors list and notice that you've got people being referred to your site from a URL like http://au.google.yahoo.com/bin/query_au?y=au&p=little lolitas. Okay... c'mon... 'fess up, you! Who stumbled across my site because they were looking for little girl porn? It's okay, we'll understand... because well, on the bright side you weren't doing a search on "little thai boys". So yeah, if you're reading this, then put an entry in the guestbook saying "I came here looking for little girl porn and instead I get Marla Sokoloff, who looks young-ish but is waaaay past puberty and not to my gourmet tastes!" But still, I welcome new visitors to this site, no matter what they might've been looking for when they stumbled here. Welcome and like... yeah... be disappointed by the lack of any illegal porn on my family-oriented Disney-esque site. --- Nate just complained to me about the description I gave for his video. "It makes it sound like a fucking bullshit free-to-air Planet X style piece of crap! You may as well have used the terms 'tubular' or 'rad'... you stoopid-assed sell-out fuck!" Okay, perhaps not in those exact words. But he was nevertheless quite offended. So until I get off my ass and change the Coming Soon page, please allow me to emphasize that Nate's all about the true art of skating... NOT show-boating for non-skaters with vert ramps and Planet X attitudes. 27th July, 2003 Whoa! (oh yeah, I've started to spell woah as whoa now, because the speelcheck on Final Draft insists that it's spelt like that) Anyway, I just went around and updated the Coming Soon page, and refreshed the News page with information about the new projects that I'm working on. And it's about time too, because those pages have been pretty fucking out of date. According to them, the Tragic Vendetta video hasn't even been completed yet! --- "Cannot believe my eyes / I had to take a second glance / Is your crotch hungry, girl? / cos it's eating your pants!" Yep, the CamelToe song which I was listening to endlessly while writing Celebs is STILL stuck in my head. I blame TRL. Actually, I don't cos I'm not sick of the song... yet. 24th July, 2003 "Mm hmm, that's right. Uh-huh, oh no! Fix yourself girl, you've got a camel toe!" 23rd July, 2003 Tomorrow is the opening of Owen & Rhiannon's exhitibition (well, along with 2 other artists). It's going to be good, so if you can, you should check it out. Here are the details:
it’s all in my head Robyn Chiles Rhiannon Kellie Owen Leong Donna Page
July 24-27, 2003. Opening Thursday 24 July 6-9pm
SPACE3 151 Regent Street (Cnr Cleveland & Regent St) Chippendale NSW 2008 --- Anyway, I just looked at the poll results, and there's like not a single fucking vote. So the way I see it, either nobody's voting, or everybody knows who it is. So I'll just fix it up by replacing one of the options with a new option for "I know who it is." Well since it's obviously not me (because what kinda idiot would post a pic of himself mooning a camera on his own website?) I guess I'll replace that option, as Freepoll will only give me 10 options. --- I had something to bitch and
complain about, but I can't remember what it is anymore. Ah, fuck it.
I'll just put in some of the regular bitching that I do. Coldplay is
a shit band; Ja Rule is a little bitch; Big Brovaz is just
a group of assholes; Human Traffic is the worst movie ever made;
and Nicole Kidman is an evil whore. 22nd July, 2003 A few weeks ago, I went to a housewarming party at Jason's new place. A lot of drinking went on that night, and because of the amount of digital cameras brought there, a lot of photos were taken too. Amongst the photos taken is an unintentional panty shot of an undisclosed female there. Originally, I was told to put up the panty shot on the site for a "Guess who this is" competition/poll. But recently I was emailed an even better picture to use for a "Guess whose ass this is" poll:
Yep! Someone in their completely drunken state had decided to moon the camera! But the image got corrupted somehow, and the person's face got obscured by a cheap mosaic effect (which makes it look like the person is fingering their own ass, but I assure you they're not). So perhaps we'll never ever know who this mysterious drunken ass is... but here are some suspects that you can choose from in this week's poll!
So there are ten very drunk people, in no particular order. But only one of them is the mysterious mooner... so who is it? By the way, if you know who it is, then please DON'T VOTE! --- I just watched Fatal Attraction. I don't know what is more disturbing... the idea of an obsessive stalker fucking with you and your family... or the image of Glenn Close and Michael Douglas having sex, including tit-shots!!! Eeeeeek! That's almost as gross as Ja Rule's face! 20th July, 2003 To start off, I'd like to make a DISCLAIMER. Recently, I've been unnecessarily harsh on poor Nate as I've been making up a lot of bullshit about him, and I've come to realize that those of you who don't really know us that well might not be able to distinguish between what's fact and what's bullshit. He's gotten really worried that the fictitious representation of him might precede him next time he meets one of you, and he's one of those guys that can't deal with the knowledge that someone thinks he's an asshole (you know, like Marky Mark in The Big Hit). So now, Nate would like to clarify the following:
So there. In the future, should Nate's fictitional character on this website be up to his evil tricks again, please be aware that if it sounds like bullshit, then it probably is. Fictitional character! Do you understand that? --- Anyway, the reason why I've been harsh on poor Nate is because he needs his ego shot down to a more managable size, especially after they print this kinda shit in the CoFA Student Association magazines: Ever wanted to know what it feels like to be the best? Just ask Nathan Lee, COFA SA's first ever Table Tennis Tournament Champion. After a few action packed weeks it was down to two players, Nathan and Munadi. It was neck and neck all the way. Spectactors were becoming as tense as the players. After a few back flips and the removal of shirts, Nathan played the ultimate shot, a ball that just struck the line and then sliced off on a tangent, impossibe to hit. It was all over... until session 2, 2003 that is. That's almost as big a wank as Murder Inc! I mean... seriously... --- My psychotic neighbor has started making noise complaints against me again. This time, when I'm not even at home! For Fuck's sake... get a life, bitch. Buy a dog or something if you're so fucking lonely. ---
Yesterday I dragged my sleepy
ass out of bed early in the morning to go and get some footage of Nate
skating. The original plan was to Frontside flip the Wynyard
6 Stairs but after a few failed attempts, we decided to go to head
back to the Bridge double-banks and try to kickflip into
that. You may recall that Nate successfully ollied into these banks
a while ago, and also managed to really
hurt himself. However, today he simply wasn't in the zone and couldn't nail the kickflip, as evident in this pic here:
Whatever you do... don't look down! So after ten or so near-death experiences, we decided to bail on that idea too and headed for St. Mary's Cathedral to get some runs down instead. And it was here that something weird totally happened: Nate successfully nose-slid stuff. Not only did he nose-slide a fountain, but he also did some stairs too!
"Look, ma! I'm sliding! I'M SLIDING!" As you may recall, in the previous update I asked everyone to pray for some improvement in Nate's nose-slides. So this is no big deal, right? Everyone's prayers were answered; there is a god after all. But the weird thing is that at this point, the update hadn't been put up yet! There was a problem with the server, and I could only upload the update when I got home after Nate pulled off those nose-slides. Woah... bring on Mulder and Scully and shit. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the weirdest event in the world... but hey... --- At this point, one of you might ask: "You know, Pan. You write a lot of shit about Nate's stuff; bitching about his nose-taps and all... What about your footage?" To which I would reply, after a slight pause: "What'd you say?" Basically I've got about 2 minutes of footy, but I'm not going to use any of it because it's all been done in 411 #52. "Yeah but nobody's seen you do it." Yeah well, everyone's biting my shit. You know how it goes. "So why don't you do something now on that rail over there?" That rail? Okay, sure! "First try; no warm up, bitch!"
Cher-ching! --- Oh, and I spent most of today working on the characters of the upcoming TV pilot that I'm going to shoot in Singapore. I managed to write a shitload of notes today, and I'm well on track to getting the first draft of the script out in a couple of weeks or so. Tentatively, I'm calling the show Celebs. It's a shitty name, but it's all I got right now. --- I bumped into Jodie yesterday. Apparently she's more or less the producer of a music show on Channel 31, that community TV channel, and she says that if I passed her a copy of the Tragic Vendetta video, she'd play it on air! Like, on TV!!! I'll check to see what the Meza Virs guys think about this, and if they're cool with it then I'll pass her a copy of the video. Woo woo woo! When we get the Untitled Mesker music video project done, we'll have to put that in too! 16th July, 2003 I just got out of a cab with a cab driver that looked more like James Hetfield than a cab driver. He was like big, had long hair and a bad-assed goatee, and had a booming kinda deep voice. And man was he fucking bitter, about being fucked over by a bad back, an ex-wife that won't let him see his daughter etc... That was trippy... --- Anyway, the last week has been like "Let's cook dinner for Pan" week. Last weekend, Evon made a nice yummy chicken stew for me, and the weekend before Goh came over and made a delicious batch of spaghetti bolognaise. So I just wanted to say thanks for the food!
Anyway, something I noticed that was different from their cooking and mine was... well, they knew what they were doing. I normally just throw a whole lotta shit I can find in the kitchen into a pan, and add a lot of optimism. And I usually end up with something Owen describes as "mush". --- Yesterday, Nate and I went to St. Mary's Cathedral to shoot a line. Anyway, the line was supposed to end in a nose-slide 270-out, but as usual it ended up more like a nose-tap than a slide. In fact, that's pretty much the story of Nate's nose-slides. No matter how much wax we put on the ledge or how smooth the ledge's surface is, he just can't seem to get the board to actually slide along the fucking thing. If he doesn't get better at them soon, he's going to get his ass OWNED by every ledge in Sydney, and that's not going to be good for the video part.
--- By the way... in the unlikely event that the waitress from the Shangri La hotel who served me the Crown Lager is reading this, I'd just like to say that you're waaaaaay hot. 15th July, 2003 About three weeks ago I voluntarily followed Lynn to a Buddhist Temple to pray, because it was the first day of the month for the Chinese calendar or something, and apparently that was a good day to visit the temple. Two days ago Evon took me to a Baptist Church (the one Bernie goes to in the city) to attend a service, because it was Sunday and apparently that was a good day to visit a Church. At the temple, I pretty much just did everything Lynn told me to do, like point this joss stick here, place my hands together in prayer there and kneel down and look somber here. Likewise, at the church I just parroted Evon. Bow my head in silence at this point, stand up and pretend to sing from the hymm book at this point, and repeat "Amen" at that point. If that's all there is to religion, I think I'd be pretty good at this stuff. Hell I could make a pretty good Islamic Cleric and wave around my Flail of Mohammed +5. Though those clothes don't look too comfortable and I'd have issues balancing a towel on my head 24/7... but it beats that little white band that priests wear around their necks. It looks like a really tight tie, and I hate ties. So yeah, if this trend keeps going I'll probably follow another ex-girlfriend to another hub of religious activity in about three weeks. Like perhaps Mel will bring me to a Mosque or something... or a synagogue. Anyway, I spent most of the time in the Church service scribbling in my notebook coming up with characters for that TV drama I wanna make this December, but I also listened a little to the service and stuff. And one thing I figured was that it's really not that hard to write a Church hymm, is it? I mean, I don't know much about music, but I know the difference between a verse and a chorus. Choruses are repeated, and verses are not, right? So church hymms must be like completely made up of choruses because they're like the same 5 lines repeated for about 3 or 4 minutes, and thematically they have the variety of an N*Sync CD. Also, I'm not sure why but everytime the pastor guy mentioned the Blessed Trinity the first thing that popped into my head was the Pizza Hut/KFC/Taco Bell 3-in-1 combos that you find at places like Funan and Lido. And I don't even go to those places that often! --- Anyway, I was thinking again about my little dilemma regarding Paul Kariya's transfer from the Ducks to the Avalanche and I tried to apply that situation to an everyday life scenario in order to better understand the situation and come up with the best solution to the question: do I remain loyal to the player or the team? What I came up with was a little bit warped, but I think it's a pretty logical tangent. If your true love gets a sex-change, do you remain loyal to your sexuality or your heart? And that's the question I'm going to pose to you in the new poll. I gotta go and meet Nate in the city now. Write more later. --- Judgment Day is this Thursday! Are you ready for the biggest and most expensive disappointment ever??? I've waited over 10 years to be disappointed by this sequel that should never have been made, and now that it's just around the corner I'm edgy with anticipation. My only wish: This movie will convince Arnold Schwarzennegger that it's time for him to move on with his life and commit himself to running for Governor of California. Ah! The week is finally over. For the last 5 days I've had to turn up to uni at 9 in the morning to endure what was one of the worst classes I've ever had. I mean, the subject was cool, and the lecturer was pretty cool too, and very helpful. However, the class itself was filled with pretentious assholes who liked to say dumb shit to make themselves sound cool and intelligent (though usually they end up displaying their ignorance and stupidity instead) and disrupted the learning in the class. And they were mainly composed of the students in the Time-based Art class below mine. No matter that fuck Gillies likes them better than us. Assholes like to stick to their own, I guess. I could bitch for more, but I'm exhausted from the stress, and I'm just glad it's all over. --- If you go to this Aphex Twin site, you'll see an update where a certain "B.E" tips them off on a Hong Kong movie which has an evil vampire villain that looks amazingly like Richard D. James. "Richard who?" you ask? Why, that's Aphex Twin, of course. And the movie is the teeny vamp flick The Twins Effect. And B.E. is none other than Big Evil himself, Frankie (also known as the Ultimate Transformer). Anyway, check out the link... and if you don't believe me then here are two pics for comparison:
Aphex Twin fans out there should definitely check out the movie, which incidentally doesn't have twins nor any weird effects in it. So the question must be asked: "Why is it called the Twins Effect then?" Frankie thinks it's like... well... Twins Effect > Effect Twins > Effects Twin > Aphex Twin Okay, it's pretty skewed logic, but it's the only sense we can make out of it. Anyway, I'm still pretty tired, and I gotta go to a party later, so I'll write more tomorrow or something. --- "I don't hate Hitler, because I'm not a Jew." - Nate displays his sensitive side. 9th July, 2003 Okay this is sorta old news, but I only just found out from Hockey-Girl Corinne that Paul Kariya has left The Mighty Ducks to play for The Colorado Avalanche! Yeah, apparently the Ducks wouldn't pay the relatively cheap $10 million to keep their captain... so now he's signed up with the Avs together with old pal Teemu Selanne. I realize now that most of you are like: "So what? Who cares? What's the big issue here? Why are you bringing up hockey stuff when the NFL season is just a couple of months away?" Well, Kariya is like totally my favorite player! He's da man, you know? When I'm playing SegaSports Hockey he's my go-to guy. Whenever possible, the puck goes to him and he's the guy that will put it into the net for me. Kariya is like The Affleck of the hockey world! So now I'm totally torn between my loyalties... am I henceforth a Colorado fan, or do I stick with the Ducks? Sure there are players left in that organization that I like, but none come close to being as cool and likable as Kariya. I think I'm going to become a Colorado fan... 4th July, 2003 "Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom...Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution...but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" - President Thomas Whitmore, Independence Day Yep. I totally love that movie! --- Anyway, the last week I was working on a new character for a video I wanted to make later. To do something different from Amy I decided to go in a more... well... fantasy-ish direction. So I was coming up with this demon thing named Dieter. Yep, Dieter the Demon, who is depicted here about hiding behind a wall: Okay, so the picture's a little bit too dark. But basically Dieter's this tall thin thing with icky bad blue skin and a blue-ish/purple mist where his head should be. He's just sorta cursed with immortality, and he haunts places without any direction or meaning. If there was a demon equivalent of a bum, that'd be him. --- But anyway, I'm putting that aside now, because I just found out that there's a screenwriting competition in Singapore for scripts written for either TV or feature films. So now instead, I'm going to devote my time writing a sitcom/drama set in Singapore! The winner gets like $30,000 and the script gets made into a local production! So yeah, I'm going to concentrate on that... guess I'll be writing more teenage/twenty-something melodrama again. But hey, I love that shit! And even if I don't win the competition, I intend to make the fucking thing myself with the regular crew. It just happens that we were sitting around deciding to make something ourselves anyway, since the local productions here generally... well... SUCK. They never bring up anything interesting, it's predictable, and it's wholly unnatural. Nobody speaks English that badly here. It's like the actors are forced to put on a thick and ugly uber-Singlish accent when the camera's rolling. It's gross! So we were going to make one ourselves just to see if we can do better. I'm not sure what I'm going to write it about yet... I don't have a theme or concept, but I'm thinking of writing about celebrities. I dunno... 1st July, 2003 A'ight... I'm going to head out soon to down some booze... but before I go, I just wanted to say: McCrank's part in the Yeah Right video is the bomb! It's totally the shit, and it's so well-cut to such a catchy song. It's totally stuck in my head, and I can't get it out!!! Wahahahahahah!
|
