ESPN Sports Fucking

I had to do this assignment recently for uni, which involved getting some pre-existing footage together from TV or movies and then editing it into something that takes the original footage out of context. I could've just tossed Ass Wide Shut over to the class, really... and for a while I considered this because I was so stumped with other assignments and the website redesign... but in the end I figured that'd be just lazy so I tried out a concept I once thought up ages ago.

I think it was Fight Club that I first heard the term "sports fucking" and it totally intrigued me. It's just one of those terms that gets into your head and doesn't go away (like Belinda Carlisle lyrics). Another such term that I encountered was the name of some porno mentioned in a weblog I read once called "Grudge Fuck". Now that's a catchy name for a video.

Anyway, so I got together some footage from vintage 70's porn (when Ron Jeremy was still young and thin!) and spliced it together with footage from Monday Night Football with John Madden & Al Michaels... and the result was EPSN Sports Fucking: a video that looks like a highlight reel of sports coverages of porn... and I gotta say it's pretty fucking funny. Of course, the question has to be asked (and ask Nate did): "Why? What's your damage, little man? You've got a warped world perspective." Well... it's funny... and it meets the assignment brief because I get to exercise lots of tricky editing.

Of note: Renting porn is the most embarrassing thing I've done recently. It's worse than buying condoms or anything, because at least then it means you've got someone. I tried to go to the Blockbuster because I don't go there anymore, but they stopped stocking porn (not only that, but I had to ask to double-check, and the chick working there was kinda cute too). So I had no choice but to turn up to my local video store where they know me, and plop "Miami Wives" and "Wild Cheerleader Weekend" on the counter. The guy was like "Have a nice night!"

I don't think he believed me when I protested and claimed that it was for uni.

Also of note: Softcore porn is the most boring shit in the world (next to British sitcoms). In order to keep the sex down, they not only crop out all the good shit, but because most porn is uncroppable, each sex scene was like the same two shots repeated over and over. And it got really old really fast... not to mention I had to watch it while jotting down timecodes and shit.

Watch Sportsfucking now! (3.4 megs, WMV format)